Come What May, And Love It by Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin Nov. 2008 Ensign p.26 taught by Alison Jaehne
Elder Wirthlin shares with us the advice his mother gave him that stayed with him all his life. She taught her children to trust in themselves and each other, not blame others for their misfortunes and give their best effort in everything they attempted. When they fell down, she expected them to pick themselves up and get going again. One time a young Elder Wirthlin lost an important football game and was discouraged. His mother listened to his sad story (which did show her love and compassion for him!) and then said, "Joseph, come what may and love it." She wasn't suggesting to suppress discouragement or deny the reality of the pain or to smother unpleasant truths under a pretended happiness.
"But I do believe that the way we react to adversity can be a major factor in how happy and successful we can be in life. If we approach adversity wisely, our hardest times can be times of greatest growth, which in turn can lead toward times of greatest happiness." Elder Wirthlin shares four tips that have helped him to deal with times of testing and trial: Learn to Laugh, Seek for the Eternal (D&C 121:7-8), The Principle of Compensation(the Lord compensates the faithful for every loss) (Alma 34:41, Luke 6:23) and Trust in the Father and the Son. (Alma 36:3)
The lesson today discusses how to approach adversity wisely. Alma 17:11 …be patient in long-suffering and afflictions. How do we know if we are not handling adversity with patience? We complain and murmur. The definition of complain is to express grief or pain. As Elder Wirthlin says, "…every man and woman on this stand today has…drunk deeply from the cup of disappointment, sorrow and loss. The Lord in His wisdom does not shield anyone from grief or sadness." So, we all, even general authorities, experience grief and pain. But we are not supposed to talk about it? Can that be right?
I wondered what Jesus has said to others about the grief and pain He suffered. The words of Jesus Christ, read by Noel Erasmus for us:
Behold I am Jesus Christ whom the prophets testified shall come into the world. (3Ne 11:10) I created the heavens and the earth and all things that in them are… I came unto my own and my own received me not. (3ne 9:15) ...behold I am the Light and the life of the world; and I have drunk out of that bitter cup which the Father hath given me. (3Ne 11:11) (D&C 76:107) I gave my back to the smiters and my cheeks to them that plucked off the hair. I hid not my face from shame and spitting. (Isa 50:6)
… I God, have suffered these things for all, that they might not suffer if they would repent. But if they would not repent they must suffer even as I; which suffering caused myself even God, the greatest of all, to tremble because of pain, and to bleed at every pore and to suffer both body and spirit and would that I might not drink the bitter cup and shrink- nevertheless, glory be to the Father and I partook and finished my preparations unto the children of men. (D&C 19:16)
Oh ye nations of the earth, how often would I have gathered you as a hen gathereth her chickens under her wings, but ye would not. (D&C 43:24)
Arise and come forth unto me, that ye may thrust your hands into my side and also that ye may feel the prints of the nails in my hands and in my feet, that ye may know that I am the God of Israel and the God of the whole earth and have been slain for the sins of the world. (3 Ne 11:14) Fear not little flock, do good, let earth and hell combine against you, for if ye are built upon my rock, they cannot prevail. (D&C 6:34) So, our Savior has let us know about and told us that He suffered.
What is the difference between mentioning our suffering in a way that isn't bad and actual complaining, which is bad? In the thesaurus I found that it said that complaining is not only an expression of grief or pain but it is accompanied by resentment, usually tiresomely. To resent is to have a lingering ill will towards a person for a real or imagined wrong. When we complain we feel we have been offended in some way and are mad at the person or thing we think caused it. Complaining is not just a statement of fact about what we are feeling, it is laden with negative and even hateful emotions. When we complain, our heart is not filled with love and we cannot feel the Spirit.
What is murmuring? It is a half-suppressed or muttered complaint. What is a heart murmur? It is an atypical sound of the heart typically indicating a functional or structural abnormality. As a nurse, I learned to listen for heart murmurs. It is an extra swish-swish sound next to the lub-dub, lub-dub sound. Some murmurs are barely noticeable and missed by other nurses, and some are so loud you can almost hear them outside the chest. Murmurs are classified by how loud they are. Why is a heart murmur and scriptural murmuring both called a 'murmur'? Both are a condition of the heart that indicates a functional abnormality. Evie Stewart pointed out that in Corinthians 10:10, Paul tells us that some of the Israelites murmured and that is how the destroyer was able to destroy them. We cannot let bitter feelings, complaints and murmuring enter into our hearts or the destroyer will have power over us. Even the small, quiet murmurings that we barely even notice can inhibit the flow of love through our heart.
In RS, we discussed whether our trials are caused by God to test us, or a result of our own choices, or the results of choices of those around us. The answer? Each case is so different! We cited examples in the scriptures of many different causes of adversity. It is our responsibility to examine ourselves and our personal trials to discover if we are following God's will for us. No matter what the cause of the adversity might be, the process of turning to the Lord for help is the same. He wants to help us here and now, to overcome. The adversary will whisper anything to us to keep us from turning to the Lord. Satan would have us believe that others are completely at fault and 'all is well in zion' and we don't need to improve, others do. Or Satan would have us believe that our problems are completely our own fault and we are suffering the consequences of our own choices so we just have to live with it. The adversary will do anything to block us from turning towards the Savior for help and the hope we need to stay positive.
Two examples of adversity in the Book of Mormon are right next to each other in the book of Mosiah. Both King Limhi's people and Alma's people (the ones who escaped from the wicked king Noah) were enslaved by the Lamanites. Limhi's people were in bondage because of their wickedness. Alma's people were in bondage because the Lord wanted to try them. These two groups of people gave us examples of what to do and what not to do. Limhi's people were slow to turn to the Lord and they tried to fight off the Lamanites three times and lost three times. Finally they turned to the Lord and slowly they were delivered out of bondage. Alma's people turned to the Lord right away and the Lord quickly lightened their burdens until they couldn't feel them. Soon they were delivered out of bondage.
I love the little booklet Tragedy or Destiny! It helps me to understand why we have trials and not complain. The words are so beautiful! Spencer W. Kimball also taught us the same words in 'Faith Precedes the Miracle' and in the RS lesson manual for last year: The Teachings of Spencer W. Kimball pp. 13-20. I wish I had time to read the whole thing! It helps me to see how we can have joy in sufferings.
In this life, we will have to drink a bitter cup. But let us pray for the Spirit to rid our hearts of bitterness so our afflictions might be swallowed up in the joy of Christ. (Alma 31:38) It can happen! We can have joy amidst our afflictions! More verses to show how to have joy in adversity: Acts 5:41, Matt 5:12, Col 1:11, Luke 6:23, 1 Thes 1:6, 1 Pet 4:13, Romans 8:16-17, Romans 8:28, Alma 17:11,
